Burning man, day 6 +7 (Tuna guys, temple burn, moop sweep, exodus)

About 2,3am maybe? On saturday night? Wandering around the tents off the main Esplanade, and feeling a bit 'need booze where can we find some ugh we could go back to the tent but if i go back there i know what will happen and i'll get tired'. We chanced across the Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro, who seemed to have just had some meal, and there was a lady playing piano, but no bar unfortunately.

And then, this guy appears, with a beard and a red teeshirt and a lanyard round his neck with some proper BM shit on it, and a big silver platter with some fish on it. I'm not even joking. I'd heard about 'the tuna guys' before I went, they're like some legendary old dudes who bring albacore tuna to Burning Man and then serve it after they magically appear. I don't know how they cooked it (I asked of course) but it was tart, and zingy, and amazing, and I would have licked the platter clean. We chatted with him for a long while. It was amazing. And after the French toast as well!

By now I was euphoric with how much wonderful shit had happened. I just kept laughing so much. We hung outside by a kissing booth sign, shouting GETCHA KISSES, EUROPEAAAAAN KISSES, NOW WITH LESS STDS AND DENTAL PROBLEMS with Tarmo and quite a few people came over lolol.

Then one of my other top moments - we're walking in towards the centre, the Esplanade, and there's a guy who stops us. "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THIS - " he gestures at the bar behind him which two big domes together with nipples on top like a pair of tits "- IS THE WORLD FAMOUS BOOBIE BAR! We've been coming here for years, and this is our last night!! You have to come in! But first!"


We're looking around wondering oh jesus is this some kind of sexy nudey bar and he goes "I want - YOU!" and points at me, and then "YOU!" and points at another girl who's stopped to listen. And we're thinking ahh fucking hell I hope he doesn't ask us to take our tops off. And he pulls back his jacket to reveal a pink stuffed bra on top of his sweater with a button on each cup.
"I just want you to lightly push this button, go on!"

And I did. And as soon as I did, in the background, on the corresponding tit (so left bra cup, left boob of the bar) shot up HUGE FLAMES. It was a wireless pyrotechnic thing and oh boy I started screaming and laughing. It was amazing. I'd never made fire happen before. We go inside, and there's like, a huge bar with EVERY drink, so I had a beer (I got a taste for it) and I think Lucas had a gin and tonic. We coloured in the Henry Rollin's Colouring book while I stood on a chair feeling euphorically happy, then this fucking random thing happened, where they played 'Everybody Loves My Baby', which is a track off my old Jazz Playlist. And the next thing you know, there's a dude on the bar, with a creepy old marionette puppet, the lights are going down, and the bartender is crouching next to the puppeteer, shining a torch. He then proceeds to have the marionette mime the entire jazz song, in the most hilarious way possible and everyone was dead silent. Followed up with Minnie the Moocher we were having just about the best time.

We moved on to find somewhere to get warm because god, it was freezing, and ended up around a big firepit off the Esplanade where Espen had a bit of a moment going "I'm having a great time but I wonder if I'll get gifted anything while I'm here. I'd really like that. Anyway gotta go to the loo." And then he comes back and someone has given him a bracelet. IT WAS AMAZING. I'm also sitting there with my throat in ribbons just laughing at how terrible I sound, when we spot a lightning ball - a singing tesla coil - over in an enclosure near The Pier. We all ran over to see what was going on and everyone was just silently watching this ball of electricity being auto-tuned to fit the bassy beat that was playing under it. Quite amazing. I went "HOLY SHIT" and everyone turned around to laugh, and went yeah that's the appropriate reaction.

Things started to wind down a bit now - we went on the Pier one last time, and Lucas got into a long chat with some girl in a huge white floaty dress and someone gave us some lollipops which were perfect considering I could barely speak by now. We headed back to camp, Dave and Tarmo desperate to crash, but me and Lucas and Espen were still awake so we followed the sound of jazzy guitar jamming to the tent across the street from ours, where three guys were improv'ing some really lovely music. With a few beers, in an armchairs, we sat and fought off the chill and watched.

Then some guy proceeded to show up in an orange nasa jumpsuit, an afro wig and a monkey mask. He took off the mask, gave me a beer, and said to Lucas "Can I have your hand?"
"Uh what for?"
"I'm going to give you a hand massage."
Cool guy in the end, we hung out for a while! And hand massages were looovely. We got a cd off the jamming guys, and Lucas went to go to sleep. Me and Espen desperate for fire went back to BRC, a short walk from where we were camped, maybe looking for our old goony friend Nico, but mostly looking to get warm off their fire pit. We found his mates instead. They still let us join their little fire circle, though, huzza. BRC are the ones who built The Pier, and I had contributed to the cost of it a little, you know, supporting art projects. And to thank you, they sent you some stickers and a thank you note.
"Wait.. you contributed to the Pier, and you're name's Nancy and you're from London?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm the one who sent you the stickers. I remember being worried about the postage not working"

Which was amazing, truly.

*~*~*~*~ SUNDAY ~*~~*~~*~
Sunday was hard. The place was really a shadow of its former glory. I woke up and almost collapsed from lack of sustenance, and Lucas brought me another ramen. The salt really helped, and I chugged a pint of gatorade as well which was good too. This was the day you clean ALL YOUR SHIT UP. And other people's shit. Just get all the shit fixed.
I cleaned up Happy Camp for ages and we sorted all our trash, threw our burnables into the huge flaming wheelbarrows positioned around the place. Wondered what to do with our bikes (we took them to a bike drop in Gerlach.)
Reduced down our tents, siphoned off any grey water. Picked up bits of Lucas's broken hat. Any of my hair I could see blowing around. Any thing that wasn't there when we got there, had to go. Put it in bags, put it in the car. We had quite a few gallons of grey water. I remember being so immensely exhausted that I could hardly walk at one point and had to sit down again. I think I did cry for a bit, I was sad it was over.

We had decided to stay for the Temple burn - it being of the focus points for many of us. The Temple burn is when they set fire to that amazing wooden structure, with everything inside. But rather than it being a whooping, cheering, crazy time, it's a really silent, profound moment. It was really intense. The fireball was gigantic. The heat was really painful on our faces (again we were sat very close to the front.) but we didn't want to look away. Kristin, who we'd been with was actually magically seated only a few feet away from us, with someone from our camp who'd shaved off all his long dreadlocks for the event! It was wonderful, remembering all the things that had been in there, all the things I had written, other people, the things they'd left.

We'd packed the car and driven it out to the far perimeter then walked back before, so we went off to the car, taking one last look at the Playa, the final thing I remember being that a lady on a bike blasting the Monkees out of a sound system riding past us. Then we were in the car - in doors! Driving! Me still in my gold bridesmaid dress with my ivy in my hair. 11pm we set off, without much of a meal inside of us. Lucas did so well.

~*~*~Reno~*~*~*
It' 3am and you've just arrived. What do you do?

STEP ONE - FIND THE HOTEL. What's that, our room isn't ready? Not till 3pm the next day you say? Aw shucks.
STEP TWO - DROP OFF YOUR CRAP. Go find the appropriate recycling place, almost give the car a flat driving off the pavement without realising.
STEP THREE - FIND A FUCKING MACDONALDS. Eat the hell out of a huge quarter pounder and large chips in a carpark at 4 in the morning.
STEP FOUR - SLEEP IN YOUR CAR. Even though the carpark of the hotel has fucking Elvis blaring on speakers everywhere.
STEP FIVE - HAVE A WASH AT 10AM DISCOVER YOU CAN CHECK IN. Make orgasm noises when you get in the bath because it feels amazing.
STEP SIX - EAT THE BUFFET. I practically cried. Cold tomatoes. Ice cream. Smoked salmon. Chinese food. English food. American food. ALL THE FUCKING FOOD.
STEP SEVEN - GO MAKE LUCAS HAVE A NAP BECAUSE HE'S BEEN UP FOR LIKE 30 HOURS 6 OF WHICH HAS BEEN WHILE HE'S BEEN DRIVING

we then ate in and out, and Fredrik ordered champagne for the room while wearing a banana costume.

The end.

Pictures from here and here.