"Just like describing a color to a blind man! :D"
Yeahhh basically it's pretty much that. I don't know how to even approach a grand-summing-up of the whole experience. I just sort of basically went into overdrive mode, and I don't think I've ever felt so happy, peaceful, accepted. I was so completely in my element. It was so heartbreaking to leave that I cried on the Sunday morning. Sounds so ridiculously hippy bullshit back here, of course. As expected. You do go quite quickly into a new mindset out there - at least I did. It was everything I hoped for and more. Oh god.
So yeah. After fucking year of planning, and so much stress, and endless google docs, it happened. It didn't go to plan at all - things went wrong of course, mostly due to bad planning and things which weren't our faults. It was a bit adventurous trying to do all the goddamn shopping in one day. I honestly estimate we spent about seven hours in two supermarkets that day; a Home Depot, and a Walmart, en route to Reno. It was hot. We were stressing the fuck out. A LOT. Oh man. But you know, keep smiling and all. Are we buying enough shit, are we buying too much shit, etc etc. At least we could throw money at the problem until it went away. KInda.
We managed to hit Reno at like 11pm I think! I was so happy, as you can see in this video.
It was all wonderfully surreal - we were all there, together! We made it, at last! Supplies, in the car, clothes, all ready to go, ziplocking those bad boys up. The lads emptying the minibar of their beers, and our two rooms linked up with a shared door so we could all hang out. It was amazingly hyper.
The next day me and Lucas picked up our bikes from this warehouse type place in Reno where we chatted with the lovely owners, one of whom went to the UK for the Royal Wedding which was a bit adorable. We picked out our rides for the next week (mine was light green, Lucas's I forget because he covered it in orange masking tape) and stuffed them in, and soon enough, we were off, desert bound! God I remember the excitement so well. Listening to various radio stations as we drove through the Nevada hills and the wide open spaces, then up a rocky mountainous path, then Pyramid Lake. We had a terrifying moment in a petrol station where chatting with the people behind the counter (I love love love the chattiness, I have to say. I'm a chatty person. I do enjoy a good natter with some lovely locals.) that they'd heard the queue was 12 hours to get in. TWELVE. Fucking awful news, hanging over our heads the entire way. But we kept upbeat.
Finally, through Gerlach, passing tonnes of 'GET YOUR WACKY BURNING MAN SHIT HERE' stalls and people holding up signs 'Trying to go home! Need one ticket!'. Loads and loads of em. I don't think they would have been all that successful, but still. Imagine heading out there with all your supplies for the week, not knowing if you can swing it. I salute em.
As we approached the desert, we were very worried about the dust fucking up our car as we didn't want the rental company to charge us megabucks so we were careful and taped up some of the AC vents and in an effort to adjust ourselves to the hot hot heat, turned it off completely a good 20 minutes before we got onto the sand.
It was crazy dusty and hot. The problem was that we didn't want to sit in the car with all the doors and windows shut but we didn't want the car filling up with dust either so it was a lot of SHIT CLOSE THE WINDOWS HERE'S ANOTHER CLOUD OF DUST. We also saw some interesting stuff in the queue, dudes walking around dressed as robots, girls hulahooping, some people playing insanely loud music and dancing on the roof of an RV. It was good craic anyway. I was enjoying it. Still feeling a bit upset in my stomach so that was a lingering anxiety but yeah.
Finally got to Will Call, rejoined queue, got to the Greeter's Station. Lucas was shirtless at this point and I'd changed into a slip, to cope with the heat. Our first BM experience really was Lucas's shirtless hug with a topless 40-year-old woman who was our greeter, lol. And it didn't even matter. I'd get used to nudity pretty quickly - by Saturday, I was happily getting henna'd by a lovely mostly-naked woman called Kindle with a hairy stomach and didn't even register she wasn't wearing clothes.
Anyway, we slowly drove the huge perimeter at the 5mph limit, but it felt like it took forever. Goddamnit. I just wanted to get Lucas to GUN IT. and GET IN!!! 4:10 an B, 4:10 and B. We tried to navigate around. Went past a camp where people were dancing around in Banana costumes to a dubstep remix of 'Wanna be like you' from the Jungle Book and gave us free bananas. People putting up their tents shouting 'WELCOME HOME'. Trying to not bump into anyone, cycling around. It was still sunny out. 4.5 hours in, not at all terrible compared to the 12 we'd been worrying about.
Our initial impression of the camp we had joined was a little stilted, really, as everyone was trying to get the Dome up - we camped with a group of people who were awesome called Happy Camp, but yes it was stressful. We knew that we had to check with someone about where to put our car and tent so it didn't upset the balance of people but that person was NEVER around when we checked, so eventually and exhaustedly, we just put up where another guy suggested. I'd helped with the mixers for the bar by donating $10 and when the dude realised it was me, I got the biggest bonecrunching hug EVER that lifted me off the ground which was a great way to start out, even if everyone else was stressy. We got our tent up, then Espen and Dave showed up and it was so awesome to have a proper hug.
JESUS THIS IS A LONG ENTRY AND I'VE ONLY JUST GOT THE TENT UP. Don't worry I'm sure my memory gets much more fractured later on.
I remember how good the first can of beer I snapped open tasted even though it was warm. And then I remember realising how fucking fast time was going and I needed to hurry if I wanted to make my 9pm - midnight temple shift at the Temple of Transition.
It's hard to describe the Temple of Transition - in essence it's a huge structure designed purely for the purpose anew each year, constructed out of wood, and far out in the middle of the Esplanade at 6pm in the Playa. Inside, on every available surface, people write things, leave photos, god the photos, I saw hoodies of people who they'd loved who'd died, someone told me about a child's colouring book, jars of ashes i think, so many things, people leave them there and then at the end of the week it all gets burned to the ground. It's an incredible place and in particular really affected a couple of people in my group. When I went back my second time, I managed about 3 minutes of reading tributes to those lost before I completely fell apart. It's shockingly beautiful and raw and honest and it's really one of the best things about Burning Man, easily.
This video captures it nicely. It's extremely beautiful (just get past the soppy intro.)
In any case, inspired by what the temple was, I signed up in advance for a volunteer shift as 'guardian', i.e., don't let anyone burn anything, no smoking inside, if anyone needs help, they can have it, anyone too drunk or on drugs, anyone trying to climb, etc. The idea is you just sit quietly.
We were supposed to arrive at Burning Man much earlier. Arriving this late meant I was late for my shift. Fuck fuck fuck. I tried to pack my backpack with what I thought I needed - water, food, a drink, some lights to keep myself lit up.. I didn't know! Warm stuff? It was still really hot! I fucking got on my bike and lucas and I gunned it across the Playa and MOTHER OF GOD. IT WAS CRAZY. I was just cycling, in the dark, with LEDs on my fingers and a warm night breeze blowing my hair, and looking around all you see is darkness, and neon. Neon and fire. And lights. And people. And everything looks amazing and you're just thinking "we're here. we're here. we're here." And I was just shouting at lucas "Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! HOLY SHIT!"
That moment was incredible. Will always remember it. And we were looking for the temple, oh god, will we ask someone? And of course not, because it's all the way miles over there, I recognized it from the drawings. It was gorgeous.
Showing up I was flustered. I wound down while I was there. Very little happened, and I barely managed to have a conversation with anyone that wasn't me being extremely panicky-but-hiding-it. I think the lady I reported to was a bit alarmed at this panicky british girl showing up to be a calm presence, so I felt like I let them down a bit in that regard. Overall my shift was quite quiet, and I got into a strange headspace of feeling very out of myself, so when Lucas showed up to say hi and sign on for HIS shift we had this really long, nice, huge important hug for ages. I'd calmed down and let go of all the day's stress, and it was a really wonderful place to do that too. Just taking in the ocean of lights from the top deck was beyond anything my brain could handle, really.
I planned originally to stay with Lucas throughout his shift, but I was crashing hard so I went back to camp in dire need of water and reassurance that I wasn't getting sicker. My throat was so dried out and I got a bit lost on the way back and missed a turning. I asked some directions from some people, and the final guy I asked was like NO WAY MAN, WE'RE CAMPED OPPOSITE! So I went back with him and his friends, had a beer in his camp, made a friend then wandered across to our camp where my friends were hanging out and quite drunk if I do say so myself! We stayed up chatting for a while which was nice, me in my owl hat Jo gave me, and this guy from Happy Camp came and entertained us off his nuts on some energy drink in the US which has health warnings all down the side, spraying his costume with glue so that the reflective tape wouldn't fall off and nattering on hilariously, until 3:45am or so when Lucas got back and we immediately fell asleep.
Day 2
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